She Spoke and She's Full (Part Deux)

Today I have to unpack my suitcase from SheSpeaks.

As I pull out the jeans I wore on Thursday night, I remember standing at the airport in Charlotte, holding a sign to alert others in our group that this was where we were meeting. The sign said “Hungry Girls” and people wondered if they should give me money as they passed me in the airport baggage terminal. But I needed the Bread of Life that only Jesus gives on that day. As I remove the jacket from my suitcase, I see myself sitting at the awesome dinner that Tracy Vinson put together for all the women who arrived early on Thursday. Yet I was filled to the measure by the spiritual buffet I partook in by communing with my Jesus for three glorious days. I take out the sweaty exercise clothes, and giggle as I remember the first time I met Van in the elevator. Just as Jesus met me when I was still a long way off in the distance.


I pull out the white structured jacket from Friday- the one Jeannie Burlowski advised us all to wear on the pre-conference call about how to have a successful publisher meeting and miraculously, it didn’t get a single stain that day. Even still, the garments of my heart have been washed whiter than snow by the faithfulness of Christ. I unroll the white polka dot dress, the one that made me feel like myself in the midst of aching to fit in. Yet God never intended for me to conform to this world, but to become a new creation through Jesus. I remove the petticoat I wore underneath the white polka dot dress, and laugh that I forgot safety pins to secure it tightly, and the night before I wore it I was cutting holes with nail clippers and weaving ribbon in it so it would stay up. With God- all things are possible, even if it’s a burning bush, a talking donkey, or a Holy Child born in a humble manger.

I take the size 14 black pants from my suitcase, and was surprised at how comfortable they were even though they were dress pants. Grace, grace, grace. Next is the white polka dot shirt that reminded me of the uniform of a waitress from a 50’s diner. We are called to be servant leaders, and washers of feet. I remove the binders and papers that were given to me as a new part of the Proverbs 31 family. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. I lift out the shoes- one pair with black polka dots, and the other with white ones. Take off your sandals, for the place you are standing is Holy ground.


As I lift up my favorite black polka dot dress I wore on Sunday morning, I remember how good it felt when I changed my clothes before going to the airport. Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.


Before I know it, my suitcase is unpacked- and I have to wonder. What now?


For the mountain top experience I just had at SheSpeaks cannot equal the drudgery of everyday life. Laughter in hotel rooms late in the night can’t compare to a pile of laundry. Watching the Spirit of God descend down on a room full of women is far from the burnt macaroni and cheese I served last night for dinner. Lysa’s keynote speech about finding your own remarkABLE makes the rest of my life seem utterly unremarkable.


So what now? I have memories, a few pictures, and a binder full of lessons. What else did I bring back with me?


Well, I brought my polka dots…


...and every time I see a polka dot, I am going to remember my 600 plus new sisters in Christ and lift them before the Father. I will smile when the kids are whining "I'm hungry," remembering how something silly like a Hungry Girl sign made people look at me in a different light- and I will strive daily to show how hungry and thirsty I am for God. The next time I hear a roll call or a list of names, I will remember that each of our names were lovingly prayed over before we even got there. Next time I see a Hersheys Kiss, I will remember that Lysa T. gave up her love of all things sugar so I could be blessed and equipped- and trust me, my sweet sister, Jesus honored your obedience.


My suitcase is empty, but my heart is full to the point of bursting. For I saw faces reflecting the glow of being in the presence of our God. Of being broken before our Master.


And there was such beauty in our brokenness.
We are still, though miles apart, the body of the Living Christ.